Read: Luke 18:1-14
And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. 2 He said, “In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected man. 3 And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’ 4 For a while he refused, but afterward he said to himself, ‘Though I neither fear God nor respect man, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming.’” 6 And the Lord said, “Hear what the unrighteous judge says. 7 And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? 8 I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”
The Pharisee and the Tax Collector
9 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: 10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed[a] thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ 13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
If God Wrote Back
Dear God,
I picked up your Word today and read in Luke 18 that I should pray always. Well, I’ve blown that already. There are so many days I don’t pray. Even this journal I bought (how many years ago?) has only a few pages with ink on them.
Dear Child,
Just come anyway. Anytime you come, I am listening. Anytime you come, I am happy to be with you. You are my beloved. With me, there are new mercies every day.
And you said not to give up when I don’t see an answer. But God, it seems like a waste of my time. Like I’m talking to noone–sometimes. I’m sorry. There are just so many things that I’ve asked for over and over and over.
Salvation for that childhood friend. I know. Healing for the one who is so sick. Restoration for the broken marriage. I know how you have cried out for them. And many others.
And so far…well, it seems like you won’t…I don’t even want to say it.
I love them even more than you do. I don’t hold back out of selfishness or cruelty. You do not see the end of the story. I promise you that at the end of the story, there are no more tears. Your job is to keep your faith until the very end so you can see what I will do.
But the waiting, Lord! The waiting is so long! It’s torture to watch things fall apart and have no control over any of it. I’ve asked my friends to pray. I’ve even prayed Bible verses! And don’t I go to church? And don’t I give my tithe? And haven’t I raised my children in the Way?
Oh. Do you think you deserve a quicker answer?
And still–nothing!
Nothing? Do you remember how they put my Son on the tree, and He cried for me? He prayed that the cup would be taken away and that He would be released from the cross, but He did not receive the answer that He wanted. That, child, that is what it is to hear nothing from me. You hear from me all day.
I’m sorry. That was so wrong of me. Ungrateful. You have answered so many times. Given so much this sinner doesn’t deserve. I remember asking for my daily bread, and I’ve never gone without. I remember asking for a new job for my husband, and you made it happen (twice!). I have seen nonbelievers come to you. I have seen marriages healed.
I hear those quiet, secret prayers too. Even things you are afraid to ask for. I answer even those.
Yes, sins I have been so ashamed of—peeled away like onions. A friend I thought would never return to my life—seeking forgiveness. That vacation to France that I would never have asked for because it seemed too extravagant, but you had it in your plan for me all along. The grace makes me weep.
We never forget you. All day long the Spirit cries out for you. All day long my Son speaks on your behalf beside me. We are for you.
It’s just these prayers…these are big ones…. What if I can’t wait, God? What if my faith won’t stay that long? Or what if your answer really is no? What if I’m not strong enough to love you if the answer is no?
There. There is a true question. An honest, humble place. Don’t be anxious. I will hold you fast. My Son has paid the cost to keep you safe. There is nothing to fear. Even when you forget—or refuse—to pray.
Father, dear Father, once again I lean on your promises. From Psalm 34: The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are attentive to their cries. The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them. From Romans 8: Nothing can separate me from your love. From Revelation 21: There will be no more mourning, crying, death, pain. I’m leaning, God. Don’t let me fall over.
Never, dear one. I am your rock, your fortress, your deliverer, your refuge, shield, salvation, and stronghold. I do not fail. Just keep coming.
